DHABA.......

Kakey da dhaaba (in London) has famous as a cheap eating places.

An Indian abroad ran out of foreign exchange and went looking for the cheapest eating place in town.

He located an Kakey da dhaaba and went in. He found three sections: 'European, Chinese, and Indian' He went into the Indian.

It was divided into two:Vegeterian and non-vegetarian.

He went into the vegetarian which was further divided into pure ghee and vanaspati.

He went to the vanaspati section and found yet another division:

Cash or credit.

Cheered at the prospect of not having to pay in foreign exchange he opted for the Credit section.

When he got to it he found the sign: "Exit: get out."

INTERVIEW--- Electrical Engg.............

People come up with peculiar or funny answers in interviews or exams:
Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C. as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.
Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC ?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is DC. If it gets stuck, it was AC.

Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.

Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an integrated circuit?
Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.
External (to student) : " Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC to pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this --- --- , OK. DC Comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, Up DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!"
Examiner : "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student : "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transfomer that is put in the basement or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(student knows he is caught -- can't answer)
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

DIVER..

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level.

He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 ft but the guy joined him a few minutes later.

The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote,

"How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote,

"I'M DROWNING, YOU FOOOOOL!!!"

Discrimination .....

On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg a middle-aged, white South African Lady found herself sitting next to a black man.

She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.

"What seems to be the problem Madam?" asked the attendant.

"Can't you see?" she said " You've sat me next to a kaffir. "

I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human.

Find me another seat!" "Please calm down Madam." the stewardess replied.

"The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do-I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class."
The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers).
A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self satisfied grin:

"Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full.

I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full.

However, we do have one seat in first class.

" Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues ...

"It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone be forced to sit next to such an obnoxious person."

With that, she turned to the black man sitting next to the woman, and said:

"So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have 1st class seat ready for you..."

At which point, apparently the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing ovation while the black guy walked up to the front of the plane.

Excellent CAR RIDE ...............

A guy is standing at a bus stop in the pouring rain with no coat or umbrella, when a car slides up to the kerb and stops beside him.

Thinking he has just been offered a lift he opens the door and gets in relieved to be out of the wet.

"Thanks pal I thought I would never......"

he looks across at the driver and there is no one in the seat.

Next thing the car moves off silently and for the next four miles it stops at every red light, obeys every traffic law and finally comes to a stop at the top of the road where the guy lives - he is by now is in a severe state of shock and anxiety and the only reason he has not jumped from the car en-route is because it was traveling so slowly that he knew he could get out at any time if something unearthly happened.
Anyway it was going his way and keeping him dry!

Now it is stopped at the kerb again just up the street from where he lives and the guy gets out, closes the door and as he turns to head off home he bumps into another guy who is going to get into the car.
"Hey buddy I would not get in that car if I were you there's something weird about it" "Yeah, I know" says the second guy "

But I've just pushed it four miles and I really need the rest".

Lawyer Teacher & His Student !!!!!!!!

Few centuries ago,

a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fee.

The student struck a deal saying ' I would pay your fee the day i win my first case in the court'.
Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course.
When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, student reminded the deal and pushed days.

Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.

The teacher put forward his argument saying : " If i win this case, as per the court of law, student has to pay me. And if i lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case.

So either way i will have to get the money ".

Equally brilliant student argued back saying : "If i win the case, as per the court of law, i don't have to pay anything to the teacher.

And if i lose the case, i don't have to pay him because I haven't won my first case yet.

So either way, i am not going to pay the teacher anything ".

King & Thief !!!!!!!!!!!

A king caught the bandit chief and before punishing , offered him a statement. The king said ' You can make a statement. If you say the truth in it, you will be shot and if not you will be hanged ' . The clever bandit chief replied ' I will be hanged'. The king got into a dilemma of what to do.